Crime and Punishment.

Okay, I must admit I have been dying to talk about this for ages but I thought it was best to wait till you got to know me better, I didn’t want you think I was weird! 🙂

Punishments for your crimes.

If you thought being hung drawn a quartered was bad?
(And it certainly looked like it when I watched silence of the lambs 2 … Did you see that part? ewwwww.)
But basically that was a nice quick death, you had your stomach sliced and then you hung … so all your innards popped out and fell to the floor.
I know it sounds bad and to be honest, I have not come across evidence of it actually happening in Wednesbury,
(Outside Stafford prison .. yes) But I just felt it need to be added…. just in case, you know?

But if that punishment sounds bad? Then this is what they ‘did’ practice in all our little towns … like Wednesbury.

In the Norman times: Let’s say you’re young boy is having that 15 year old hormone rush? And he dares to stare at a young member of a high class Norman family?
Well, your poor boy will be publicly castrated … and that’s for only looking!

Maybe you’re a hungry servant, you work hard for a living yet still your family go to bed every night hungry?
So you decide (in desperation) to steal from your employer or Lordship …. tut tut
If you were born with the luck of the Irish you may even get away with just losing your right hand (unless your south paw? then it be your left)
But if your boss is a tyrant, or your theft/crime oversteps the general mark? Then you would expect to be strung up and left to starve to death. (publicly of course, just to keep the rabble happy)

Are we still thinking hung drawn and quartered was bad? … I didn’t think so ……

How about if you really were ‘innocent’ and you foolishly decided to plead not guilty?
Then the interrogating methods were quite inventful:
There was the ‘pressing’, “this is probably a bit like going to the gym but having no choice when the exercise ends”?
You were spread eagled and a weight was placed upon your chest after each question was answered incorrectly
(to their satisfaction of course)
These weights were added too , until you either said you did it (even if you didn’t) or your chest was crushed so badly that you could no longer breath .. and died.
I would think this may have been a long drawn out session, so you died slowly?
(just a guess like)

Maybe you were caught poaching?
Now this crime might have involved a bit of ear cleaning:
Were lead, (hot lead) was poured into your ears.
If you have got to this stage, then you may as well forget admitting guilt because once that lead is poured in your ear you were most likely dead by then anyway … at least that was quick?

But what else could these so called humans come up with?
Maybe your crime was small and you only nicked a carrot of the veg stall?
You would probably have your nose sliced off (not such a big deal really?)

Or maybe you had the unfortunate circumstance where your only crime was taking a slice of bread that did not really belong to you (you have only yourself to blame? ) And your lordship noticed you had very big ears?
Well what can I say … if it pleases the lordship to hang THEM (with you still attached of course) to a tree or post?… so be it.

Are you feeling a bit queasy?
I think I had better stop now and just mention a couple more with no description involved.
The thumb screw “Or the head screw for more serious crimes”?
And the rack?
Okay I know you may have a very good ideas what this entails but I can’t help but want to explain:
This machine, was designed to slowly, and painfully, dislocate arms and legs, and it was a ‘real’ favourite with the Nobility and Royalty.

I don’t know about you but, I have never been in ‘real’ trouble with the law, but if I had lived back then … I would have become a nun!

Sorry about all that, but it was  a bad day at work.


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